*Live Life to the Fullest*

I logged into livejournal feeling like I have a lot to say but I'm not really sure what.

It feels like yesterday people were telling me that I didn't need to know what I wanted to do with my life. Now I'm one exam away from being done with my third semester in college and I find myself even more confused than ever when trying to make that decision.

I think this is the reason i've loaded so much on my plate with journalism, public relations and now pre-law. I just don't really know what I want to do. Part of me sometimes thinks that I would be the happiest if I stuck with what I wanted to do since I was a first grader, marine biology. I still love that stuff, I really really do. I just don't think I could pass all of the chemistry and organic chemistry classes with the grades necessary to get accepted to the program. That I don't know if I want to move so far from the midwest, but Florida really is where my heart is, not with these miserable Michigan winters. I need the sun.

I really hated doing the writing portion of the Journalism class I took last semester. I loved the class but it wasn't for the subject it was because of the people in it. But at the same time, I knew I didn't want to be a writer so I feel like I did need to continue on to the broadcasting classes before I'll know for sure but at that point I will have wasted so much time and money if it turns out not being something I want to do.

Not to mention I constantly feel very behind on where I am in my classes compared to where i should be. I originally wanted to be applying for internships this summer. I don't want to anymore. I just don't feel ready even though I should be. I just have other things I need/want to do first. I don't want to end up hating my internship. So many people I know are going through the process right now and I'm just not in that place right now and I feel like it will bite me in the butt later. But unless something comes along that is impossible not to apply for I'm going to wait til my junior spring/summer semesters. It's just what's right for me. I'll be here for five years anyway. I figure I'll work the rest of my life there is no reason to rush it especially if I'm not ready. I just wanna chill out get my academics/social life back on track and have fun while doing it right now. And for the first time I feel completely confident and content in that decision.

I'm really excited for my first law class next semester. I loved law in highschool and I was good at it, I think I was good at it BECAUSE I liked it. Same with my political science class at Scraft.

I really don't want to do public relations it's just the only specialization offered by the Comm. Arts College that I am remotely interested in. I would love Travel PR. But to do that I need to have a background in a foreign language and I didn't continue with French. I'm just so confused and overloaded right now I don't know what to think. There are things I like and things I don't like about everything. A big part of me thinks I didn't like JRN or PR because I half-assed everything I did in those classes. I tend to enjoy things much more when I actually make an effort to do well in them. I really miss french, I'm just behind a year and a half in that now, I only dropped it because I didn't want to put the work in...that's a pretty shitty reason....I'm going to be in school forever.


I am really disappointed in myself and my grades this semester. VERY. There is absolutely no reason that I should not have at least 3.5ed every single one of my classes except for maybe my Politics and Bureacracy class but that's a long story. I most likely will be getting two 2.5's and a two 3.0's. REALLY?! What is that, I'm so much better than that and I feel like crap because I know I could do better. Much Better. And that's my resolution for next semester as well as being more involved and social. I just feel like I let my life go to shambles this past semester. I never even shower before class for god's sake and that just sets me up for failure as trivial as that is.

It might sound cliche but I want to have the perfect life, good grades, presentable conifdent personality, lots of involvement, great friends, family and boyfriend. There is no reason that I can't be all those things, there is no reason anyone can't be those things. It's all up to you as a person really. I'm tired of letting myself down.

Strangely all semester I felt like my best friends were the girls on guard. I still love Zoe, Lauren, Margie and Sarah but since the season has ended I'm starting to think we were just friends for convenience's sake (Minus Zoe & Lauren) because I have been having the best time with the girls on my floor. I finally feel like I have real friends up at MSU. Next semester is going to be a blast especially if I manage to hold the rest of my life together at the same time lol.

I keep finding a big part of me that doesn't want to leave the dorm for an apartment next year (I find this so contradictory after the panic I was in about finding an apartment just two months ago). I don't want to leave Shaw and I don't want to stop seeing the girls I've grown to love every day. It's definately going to be a weird experience and it makes me feel like I'm growing up even more and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that just yet. Hopefully it will feel more like the right thing when the time comes.

Like I said the other day, Life shouldn't be about stressing, you gotta go with the flow, do what you gotta do and live in the moment, take life for what's its worth and where it takes you and love every second of it. That is my New Years Resolution.

I officially did not go to State of Art auditions on Wednesday. Sometimes I get really upset when I think about it and other times I feel like I made the right choice.

I just have so much of my future riding on next semester and that's not an exaggeration. at all. My grades next semester and my one and only application to JRN school at the end of it are going to play a part in determining the career I have for the rest of my life. It feels like yesterday people were telling me I didn't have to know what I wanted to do and that I still had years to figure it out, boy that time sure went fast.

I would love to be a part of SoA more than anything. I tried out for their guard before I even went to school here, part of the reason I chose guard instead of sax for the fall season was to give me a leg up for SoA auditions. There are two things that make me regret not trying out
1) Peter Eichler the amazing coach will be moving out of state next year and this is his last season with the guard. He's the one that completely turned the guard around. C'mon we all know what State's winterguard used to be like....yuck. It's amazing now, Peter did incredible things with the program and his clinics are hardcore.
2) A couple of my good friends Zoe and Margie decided to try out last minute and they both made it, along with a bunch of other girls that spin at about the same level as me. I would have made it almost for sure I think because he wanted 24 and only took 22 girls cuz the rest at tryouts wern't capable. I also don't want to lose touch with the other friends I have in it because they're so busy and I won't get to see them very much.

I'd like to believe it would have been possible to handle everything I have on my plate next semester plus WG but i don't know how realistic that thinking is, especially after being completely honest about how difficult this semester has been for me grade wise. Let's be honest, I don't handle massive amounts of stress very well.

In other news, yesterday night was the SMB, otherwise known as Sigma Mu Beta Bar Crawl. Those of us that weren't 21 went over to Julie Crev's and hung out with her and Lacey for the night. Definately a good time :-) pumped I'm going to be living right by them next year. Margie and finished paying the deposit and officially signed our lease yesterday!

So I finally got around to doing my laundry. It took two washers and three dryers. It should have only taken two dryers, but one of the washers I used is aparently broken and decided not to drain the water out so I pulled all my clothes out of the water and wrung them out by hand but they were still SOAKED. Soooo, I split it between two dryers with the hope that it will dry faster.

Margie and I are suppossed to officially sign a lease tomorrow but she has WG auditions and I'm hoping we can still go cuz I do not want to lose the apartment. Kinda nervous to be honest. However, I found a possible person to take over my University Terrace lease so yay for hopefully getting that deposit back.

I think my floor is ordering Insomnia tonight because its eight cookies for the price of four plus we get six free because they screwed up our order last time. Yay for chocolatey goodness.

I was thinking about how long it's been since I've written in here and I just spent hours reading old entries. I think I'm going to start it up again...I love having things like this to look back on.

The last I updated I wasn't entirely happy with my first semester at MSU. Boy has that changed. I love it here now.Absolutely love it. I feel like I've changed a lot as a person since my last entry.

I spent the remainder of my summer working at Mrs. Fields. I say I hate it but I actually don't hate it at all. I've realized I used to complain a lot and now I know that complaining is just a waste of time cuz I don't have it bad at all. Anyways, the rest of my summer besides working was spent finishing my summer macro econ class and laying by the pool. I tried really hard to lose weight over the summer too, I joined Fitness 19 and attempted weight watchers. I made some progress that really started when I got my wisdom teeth taken out. I lost about 4 pounds and that encouraged me to stick to Fitness 19. I lost a little more after that but not enough to gain any confidence in the endeavor. Since then I'm down 15 pounds from my heaviest and I owe it all to colorguard. I'm scared that once the season ends in a couple weeks it's all going to crawl back on but I am determined not to let it becaue I feel better about myselt then I have in a long time and I'm really excited/determined to eventually reach my goal weight no matter how long it takes. It would be great to be there by the summer and reward myself with a super cute bathing suit. College has definately changed my view of caring about what other people think. This is mostly for myself not other people but of course it's always good when everyone else thinks you look good. lol.

I moved back to school on August 25th for SMB preseason. I was terrorified but it has turned out to be one of the greatest things I have ever participated in. It's a pretty sweet thing to be a part of. I started out as an alternate and had to audition for my spot every week. The first week was really overwhelming and it definately took an emotional and physical toll on my body. I've come a long way since then and for the last two games of the season I'm not an alternate anymore. the hard work paid off and I'm really proud of myself. It means a lot to be in the SMB, traditionally and skill wise. It's been a great experience and I've met a bunch of awesome people. I am ready for the season to be over tho I need my life back. I'll be pumped for next season when it comes around.

I need time in my life back again because I  didn't quite realize how far behind I am in school until the past couple weeks. It's a little scary but nothing I can't handle. It was a huge wake-up call when I realized I missed the deadline to apply for official entry into the JRN school and I can't apply now until April 1st. I don't really understand what this means, I am still eligible for all my classes next semester so I'm hoping no problems come up. I do know that if I do not get accepted into JRN school by junior year I am faced with a mandatory change of major so I basically only have one shot to get in now. And with the end of this semester quickly approaching I need to really focus to fix the mistakes I made early in the semester as well as do the best I possibly can next semester. I got stuck with 18 credits too so it's gunna be a little tough. These are the reasons I decided just yesterday not to try out for winterguard even though it would have been very sweet to be able to say I spun on an Independent guard it's just not the right decision for me right now. I also just kind of need a break from spinning for awhile and I'm not ready to make the commitment for a whole nother semester. Especially when I haven't been able to focus on Focal Point as much as I should be, that's what going to help me get an internship most likely, I can't afford to spin instead of help out with that.

I also went through Fall Sorority Recruitment and absolutely loved that as well. Until the last day when I got asked back to the two least respected houses on campus. I don't really understand why either...it was going so well with my two favorite houses until that day. And the two that asked me back for preference day are not the kind of girls I want to spend my time with. I don't understand because they have to know by talking to me that I'm not their kind of person. I'm considering going through spring recruitment too, its a lot less formal and I get more of a say as to which houses I would like to visit and I don't even have to let the two I don't like know that I am participating in recruitment. I really do want to join a house I hope it works out the second time around and if it doesn't I won't be nearly as upset as I was a month ago because it didn't work before so why would it work out the second time? I'm just really curious to see if I can get things to go my way. I would love to be a Zeta. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

I went through a ton of trial and error stuff in trying to get an apartment for next year. I got screwed over a few times and was unlucky w/ finding replacement roommates. But to sum it up everything worked out in the end and I have an awesome apartment with an awesome roomie, an updated kitchen and my own bedroom. It's a little farther from campus then I was hoping and I will no longer be in the same building as Leah, Kelly and Chels but I will still be pretty close to them. As for being close to campus its walking distance just far from the Comm Arts building so i will need a bus pass. But the perks outweigh the little farther distance. And hopefully I have a car up here next year because it's needed for my major and I'm a little farther from Steve then I would like.

Speaking of Steve I have never felt more sure of how much I love him. We've grown a lot the past few months and I can't believe it will be three years in February already. Wow.

I plan on trying to stay on  campus this summer to take a class or two and be here with Steve and other friends who are staying. I'm going to apply to work for the orientation program so that I can have free room and board for the summer as well as get paid. So, hopefully that works out. Speaking of not going home for the summer. I haven't legitly been home all semester and I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving to spend more than a few hours with family and see my friends from home as well as shower with no shoes and lay on my comfy couch. I was home for two nights in early October but only because my parents were coincidentally on campus droppinf off some under armor when I came down with a fever so they took me home ot rest a couple days but all I did was sleep the entire time so it barely counts. I feel so much more like an adult now that I've been away so long. It's scary but really exciting at the same time. Can't believe I'm almost twenty years old.

So I only got a 3.0 as my overall GPA. That's scary considering I think I studied more last semester than I ever have before. College really does require a lot more work. State was WAY harder than scraft last semester where  4.0ed everything other than my math class. I have a lot of work to do for my online history class my goal is to 4.0 or at 3.5 it, if I can do that I should move up to a 3.1 or even 3.2 something which would be a start to improving it. It's a bummer how easy it is to ruin and hard it is to get it back up. Thankfully most JRN internships don't have a GPA minimum..... :-/

Summer has not really felt like summer yet. It's still chilly and I have been way busy with starting my econ class and starting work. I also got up early Mother's day to go to brunch at my unvle's country club..I got asked if I was a mother lol. I also have been having a hard time practicing for my marching band audition. I's really discouraged and intimidated after the disaster that was my school of music audition...but in all honesty I want to make the SMB more than I ever wanted to be in the school of music which I am actually thankful I didn't make, what if I had and I had chose to do it...scary. So would not have been for me, that's one thing I've learned about myself. I am not good at practicing which makes me even more nervous for my audition which is June 13th. I had a hard time deciding on which of two pieces to play, I chose the easier of the two and I hope it doesn't come back ot bite me in the butt. I decided it was better to play the semi easier one to the best of my ability than be super stressed out the day of the audition and it's actually proving to be an intimidating piece anyway. I'm just really nervous, there are so many people with w higher skill level than me that have been playing all year and practicing for a long time. I just couldn't get myself to practice lat semester and now I need to make up for it. I definately don't suck but I have some work ahead of me if I want to make it. I'm going to do my best that's for sure. I'd say its about a 50/50 chance. o many facotrs contribute like who auditions, how many spots they have and the skill level of other people as in how many music majors just choose to do it. At least I am a good sight reader and I'll probably do well on the marcing segment. Keep ur fingers crossed for me...I want it bad.

I started working at Mrs. Fields yesterday and I enjoyed it quite a bit the ladies I work with are pretty funny and I already got the cash register down for the most part and serving cookies is easy...duh. lol It'll be a good summer job I think. I'm glad to be making some moolah.

Last night a group of us drove out to this spot on Ridge Road where two boys supposedly died and ur supposed to park ur car at the base of a hill and out it in neutral and ur car is supposed to feel like it's being pushed backwards up the hill near this guard rail and a lone creepy mailbox. Nothing happened until Steve jammed the car in gear completely freaked out that he saw this creepy shadow move alongside the car. I'm sure he saw something I just wonder what it was.....hmmm.....

I started my econ class. WORST SUBJECT EVER...it ties with my IAH. I am so confused already. It's like another language where I feel like there was a prereq or something but theres not. I am so lost. I can generate graphs but have no idea why I'm doing what I'm doing in the slightest. Took a practice multiple choise test today and only 13 of the 25.  Thank goodness all I need to do is pass.

I think I'm going to catch up on some Grey's Anatomy now cuz I'm sure a bunch of us will get together for the finale tomorrow night. Im about 5 episodes behind so I doubt I'll get caught up all the way. After Izzie started dying it was too depressing to find the time to watch it at school. But I don't want to be completely lost tomorrow.

Mmk I'm out for now.

EDIT - After watching my first missed episode of Grey's Anatomy I have come to the conclusion that it is to scary and depressing to get caught up by tomorrow. I also realized it is the last Wing's Game of the series and in all honesty I would rather watch that sooooo I think when I get off work I will probably meet Steve to watch the third period and pray the Wings are winning.

BAhhhhh. I dunno what to do with all my time.

Ok, so I have today tomorrow Monday and Tuesday to Clean/pack/study. My finals are on Wednesday Thursday. I have one on Wednesday at 12:45 and then Thursday at 7:45, 3:00 and 5:45.  I don't want to start studying to far in advance so I'm holding off on that until tomorrow. I just don't know what to study when. I'm the kind of person that likes to study for a test, take that test and then study for the next one but that is not going to be possible since 3 of the 4 I have left are all on the same day...this creates a dilemma. I think I need to set up a schedule in order to figure what would be best because right now I just feel overwhelmed but also like I don't want to start studying yet on account of most of my finals still being 4.5 days away. ajsskdjsdfasd

I'm thinking I will get off of the computer and clean, like dust and organize my stuff as if I'm still going to be living here this summer that way it will be easier to pack it all up without like skipping over something and leaving it here, it will also make it easier to study in my room if i choose to do so because right now I am typing this with my laptop propped up on a suitcase because my desk is too messy. Then after I clean Steve is taking me out to dinner and then we're going to see an on campus movie then I'm staying the night there because this will be the last chance I have for that for probably most of the summer. Then tomorrow after I come back to shower I plan on meeting Kayla at the library to study. I think I'll tackle the ISB final. Then come back finish cleaning and watch the Amazing Race and stuff. Then on Monday, I'll tackle ISP for most of the day. Then on Tuesday I have to focus solely on IAH, THAT is going to be a bitch but it has to be done bleck. Then Wednesday I'll review the IAH notes then take my IAH final at 12:45, afterwards I'll probably eat with Kelly then head back to Shaw and spend the rest of the night studying for my JRN exam which is Thursday morning. After that I'll have from 10:00-2:30 to study some more for my last regular ISB test (My ISB final consists of the last regular test for an hour and then the actual final for an hour) and look over the notes I took for the actual final part earlier in the week. THEN, I only have 45 minutes to get from the Plant & Soil Science building all the way to the Natural Science building plus look over my ISP notes before I take that.

Ok, so thats my plan. I'm sure no one cares it just helped to be typing it out while thinking about it. That should all work out good I just hope I don't end up needing more time for any particular thing than I plan on needing.

Oh and then Thursday night  = possibly drinking with the girls on my floor cuz most of us will be finished but not Leah LOL. She has a Friday morning. Then I need to get up and pack the suitcases and boxes so I'm ready when my parents pick me up at probably like noonish. If we don't all hang out on Thursday night I'll probably start packing up then.

Phew....I can't believe this semester is like practically over. wowwwww.

The last few days have been quite the last few days.

On Tuesday my mom picked me up and took me home for an appointment with an ENT on account of the fact that my left nostril kept bleeding from the same place. I went in and he was a cool guy, graduated from State actually lol. Anyways first he shoved this metal thing up my nose then sprayed some decongestant up it with this pressurized machine, let me tell you I felt like my brains were going to explode out my ears. Then he dunked a cotton ball in this blue stuff and had me sit with it up my nose for a few minutes, apparently it was to numb it? Then he took this wooden stick with a white ball on the end of it and held it against the busted vessel in my nose to cauterize it, he did that twice and it stung, a lot more than I was expecting after the numbing. I had tears streaming down the right side of my face.The stuff he used to "burn" it was silver nitrate and it turned my right nostril this black color which is suppossed to fade in a few days. It's definately gotten better since I had it done and I havn't had another bloody nose yet.

Then on Friday I woke up feeling sick to my stomach which can be a side effect from the silver nitrate because it runs to the back ofyour nose and down ur throat so I took some pepto-bismal and all was good. I came back to school for class and then had a campus band concert, we sounded so much better than last time. After the concert my parents got me taco bell then headed home.

This morning I woke up feeling perfectly fine again which was great then all of a sudden I started having this certain stomach problem and it kinda freaked me out so i called me my mom who called the ENT who said it wasn't a side effect of the silver nitrate. So my mom got worried and was going to drive up here and take me to the hospital but then when she was halfway hear she heard from a family friend that what was happening to me can be a scary but harmless side effect of pepto-bismal. And since I had taken 6 of those yesterday and I don't feel sick at all we decided to wait and see if I'm still experiencing this side effect in a day or two. The side effect is even listed on the Pepto-bismal bottle and I'm so surprised to learn that pepto-bismal can do that but apparently it's fairly common and no cause for alarm. Thank goodness. I havn't been in pain or felt sick all day so chances are thats what is going on, its just a pepto-bismal side effect. If it's still going on in a few days then my mom is going to take me to Urgent Care.

I had my lab final this morning too, I think i did fairly well. I would have done a bit better if i wasn't freaking out over what might have been wrong with me but what can ya do. I actually think I did better than on the midterm and I only got stuck on a couple questions out of 75 points so I should 3.5 that class. I hate how MSU only lets you get a grade point in increments of .5 If you don't 4.0 something the next best grade you can get is a 3.5 Your overall grade point can be a 3. whatever depending on how it averages out. But anyways thats one final out of the way with four more to go. And those arn't until next Wednesday and Thursday so I have LOTS of study time.

Dinner today at Shaw was a hardcore homecooked picnic called Ivy Fest.  It was delicious. Like real food and not caf food. They had a DJ and bouncy house toys and sumo suits and carnival games. It was a good time but would have been much better if it wasn't raining. It was suppossed to be out on the lawn but due to the rain it was in the caf and the basement.

I think Leah and I might play Nancy Drew tonight. I hope we do because I really don't have anything else to do. I usually hang out at Steve's w/ him and Rob and sometimes Adam on Thursdays but he has finals and stuff. I dont want to start studying yet. I was invited to a Toga Party but I don't have anything to make into a toga and I probably shouldnt go out drinking anyway because of what's going on with my stomach.  And by the sounds of it the only person going now is Courtney anyways.

Focal Point in the morning, then recitation for IAH then Focal Point allllll night tomorrow. It should be a good time.

Adam downloaded the whole Boy Meets World Series onto Steve's hard drive. And Steve put season one on my computer so I think I'm going to go watch some of that now.

Last Monday of classes....done.  Next Monday I don't have any finals so I think I'm gunna get a ride home from Adam and not tell my Mom so I can go to the guys first baseball game then just head back to East Lansing when it ends. I'm excited I get to go cuz I'll  have class most Monday nights.

I went to JRN w/ both mine and Chelsea's clicker so she didn't have to go. She's going for me on Wednesday morning because I will be at home for a doctors appt. Hopefully after that I will not get any more bloody noseys.

I sat around waiting to schdule my classes and everything worked out in my favor. No Fridays allllll next year! YES! That's so hard to do here and I got really lucky. First semester I have Principles of Public Relations,  Genres & Themes for English, News Writing & reporting 1,  and Public Bureacracy and Policy Process. That's only 13 credits but I'm hoping I make marching band so I didn't want to overload...plus i hear that JRN 200 (News writing...) is a real bitch and very time consuming. As for second semester I have 18 credits with Introduction to Micreconomics, Introduction to Women's Authors, Global Diversity & Interdependance,  Broadcast News 1,  and The American Judicial Process. I actually couldn't be much happier with my schedule. All the classes are close to me both semesters and second semester my earliest is 10:20. First semester I have an 8 am Monday and Wednesday and a 9:10 Tuesday and Thursday but theres no way around it cuz thats the only time those classes are offered and theyre required.

Steve came over and hung out w me while I watched Dancing With the Stars that made me smile :-)

I'm heading home tomorrow for that ENT appt and I'm only staying the night because my parents were planning on coming up on Wednesday for my campus band concert anywhere so that cuts down on their driving.

I need to start studying for my Lab Final which is Thursday.

Then all the rest are next week.

Then Summer Summer Summer!!!

.Hmm...where did this week go. I don't evne know. lol

Monday - Class.

Tuesday - Class.

Wednesday -  Class. Focal Point Webcast shoot. Almost went to the Whiskey Barrel but we decided against it.

Thursday - Met w/ yet another advisor and officially declared polysci-prelaw as my second degree. She said I could still graduate in 4 years but that not taking my PR specialization into account. I've decided to work my butt off and try to make it happe. I planned out my schedule for next year and as long as my classes dont fill up by tomorrow at 1 I wont have Friday classes all year! Yes! And that's even w taking 18 credits in the spring.

Friday - Woke up earrrlllly went to JRN then I was on camera for the Friday webcast. I did on Campus news this time so I was standing which is definitely different than sitting as silly as that sounds lol. I think i improved for sure although I still have A LOT more improving to do. Cam back and took a nap and then got ready and went to Kayla's Bday party which was a great time. Its sad...that was my last going out Friday of freshman year :-( Slept at Steve's.

Saturday - Went out w/ the girls, we were going to go to AEPi but it was pouring so Leah, Kelly, Jasmine and I went to a house instead because we could get a ride there. I did stop at AEPi to look for Caity but she was running late so I didn't get to see her, bummer. Anyways the house party was a fun, it was with some people they went to Myrtle Beach w and Ashley and Dave. Then we got a ride to another party and as soon as we got in the car some girl comes running to the car being like the cops are here. So, Kelly and I jumped out the car with this kid Nolan and hid behind this truck which was kind of like behind a barn and the cops were searching the WHOLE yard w/ flashlights and were sitting there w/ the cops on both sides of us being like shit shit shit which way are we going to have to go? Luckily they got to the front of the truck we were behind (Nolan was underneath it) and went into the house. So we booked it down the street through other peoples back yards and ended up at a Marathon station somewhere down Abbot. We stood there wondering what had happened to Leah and Jasmine when the cop from the party came into the gas station so we stopped talking and bought some chips. Then the cop left. Then the cop came back. Then Leah and Jasmine showed up there too and the guy working at the gas station pointed out there was a cab we could get in chillin in the parking lot while the cop was in the bathroom so we jumped in there and got a ride back to Shaw. I almost shit my pants my heart was going a mile a minute the whole time. Looking back it was sooo stupid to hide cuz then its extremely obvious we were doing something wrong I mean, people dont just chill in bushes behind cars at 2 am. Luckily, things worked in out favor. We got back to Shaw and talked to the other girls who did end up staying at AEPi and the cops showed up there too so everyone ducked out the back and walked along the river where some random girl pushed Kristen down the bank and she lost her 50 dollar shoes in the Red Cedar. Then this morning I found out that the two of us (Hilary and Kourtney) that went to Cedar Village ended up w/ MIP's cuz the cops came there too. I think they were out meeting quotas or on the look out cuz its the last party weekend. I am just so thankful it worked out in my favor. I walked Jasmine back to West Circle afterwards and slept at Steve's.

Today - Nothing special, just woke up, got breakfast/lunch, played some Mario Kart, walked back, hung out w Kelly and Leah, ate dinner, took a shower, did some laundry and now I'm watching The Amazing Race.

Woww. I am SO tired I think I have only gotten 5 hours or less of sleep each of the past 4 nights. I normally get somewhere between 8-9.

Thursday I had a lab project due and i think my group did a good job and now all I have left for that class is one more lab and the final. Nothing else really came outta Thursday except I finished my IAH paper and watched the Wings win their first playoff game w/, Steve, Adam and Rob. They won again yesterday, yayyy!

Friday was a crazzzzzy day. But it was also amazing. Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator came and Dateline NBC came in did an in studio interview for Focal Point and I got to film it, then talk to him and get a picture. He had SO much helpful advice and funny stories, he was a super nice guy.

After that i had to rush over and present and turn in that IAH paper which actually was pretty difficult for me to write, I'm glad it's outta my hands now. Then I got a wuick lunch and went to the polysci advising office and got turned away cuz they were so busy and i had to schedule another appt for Thursday which is only lik3 days before I can register for classes so hopefully that all works out smoothly. Then I had to be back at Comm Arts for the all night taping of the news show which lasted from aroun 5-11ish. It was exhausting and kind of annoying sitting around waiting for the talent to finish their stories if it was realy you're live at 6 whether ur ready or not. Then when that finally ended I ran home adn attempted to get ready and go out but then I got a bloody nose and was super stressed about it after my busy day so I stayed in and played mario cart and ordered pokey stix and pizza w Steve. I also found out that I need a MAC not a Dell to run the editing program for my upper level classes, junior and senior year. At least I think so. Which is just Wonderful.

Saturday, it was GORGEOUS outside so I walked back to my dorm and opened my door to a very hung over Kelly who was definately not feeling or looking to good so I helped her a little then went to shower and they were cleaning the bathrooms but I got ready as fast as I could then Steve and Cayla came over and them Steve and I went to the Deathcab Concert. It was reallly good live, gave me goosbumps. literally. Then we waited around to see if we could meet them but it was too cold and walked back around midnight, had problems checking in then Steve and Cayla got Adam came back with 60 chicken nuggets and the 5 of us, Kelly and Leah hung ou til 5/530 in the morning. There was some intense floor drama going on too. Wow. I think it's a lot better for the most part tho, thank goodness!

Woke up on and off this morning since like 8 but finally got up around 11 and people left then I just was a bum all day watching tv, sitting on the computer and taking an hour nap. Then I got dinner w/ Court, Leah and Janice. Not I'm sitting here trying to motivate myself to shower so I can watch The Amazing Race at 8.

Two more weeks of class. Then Finals. Luckily nothing stressful left cept one test and studying for finals. Summer, hurry-up. I just realized I still have two classes in the summer. Ahhh I'm so sick of class! lol

Focal Point was canceled for tonight.

I have been sitting in my room since 5 o clock trying to write a paper and its HARD. Everything I write just sounds like crap and I keep straying so far from the topic and I'm all antsy adn my room feels soooooo tiny right now and I just wanna like go on a walk or something but I dont have anybody to go with and kinda wanna jsut go alone but its dark.

Now I am reminded why I always go somewhere to do homework it stresses me out sitting in this tiny little box trying to write an impossibly paper.

I'm soooo sleepy but afraid I wont be able to fall asleep yet AGAIN due to stress from my paper. I havnt slept good in 3 nights and probably wont again tonight.

And now I'm burning up and its stuffy in here.

Ahhhhh!

I cant handle the flourescent light anymore.

EDIT - Steve and I went on a walk and I got some fresh air and that helped a lot. Then we came back here and had a good time just hanging out w everyone and now I'm not even tired and it's 12:33. I should probably try and sleep. Everyone on my floor is in such a good mood right now and it's a blast. I dunno what happened but everyone started going crazy at midnight lol.

It felt weird celebrating Easter and not being on Spring Break at the same time. We did the usual brunch with my parents and ym Grandma who is back from rehab now so that was a great thing, hopefully less stress will make my mom a little happier? We'll see.

I spent a majority of my weekend applying for jobs at.......Hiller's, Barnes & Noble, Bed Bath & Beyond, Kroger, Pier 1, Petsmart, Noodles & company, PF Changs, Papa Vino's, Applebees, Einstain Bagels, Starbucks, Zoup, Panera, Babies R Us, Kohls, Best Buy, Chili's, On the Border, Bahama Breeze, Champs, Mitchells Fish Market, The Claddaugh, J Alexanders, Macaroni Grill, Max and Erma's, Red Robin, TGI Fridays, Ruby Tuesday, California Pizza Kitchen, Victoria Secret, Buddy's, Biggby, Caribou Coffee, Claire's, Limitied Too, Gap, Bath and Body Workds, Hallmark, Mrs. Feilds, Tim Horton's and the Coffee Beanery. It was exhausting, thankfully Lauren and Jenn helped me fill out a couple applications which was a big help. If nowhere calls me over the summer I'm so screwed with money.

Friday night a bunch of us got together at Lauren's that was a good time.

Saturday night I hung out w Steve and played some Wii and got ice cream.

My alelrgies are going CRAZY. I love this time of year but stongly dislike the fact that I am allergic to pollen, it makes my ears hurt so bad sometimes, I could not sleep last night for the life of me :-/ Boo you pollen.

Had  JRN test this morning, I stidied by reading maybe 4 pages of the book lol. I think i decent considering the not studying bit, i'm keeping ym fingers crossed :-/

I'm so ready for summer, no more dorm, no mroe classes, no more homework. I have lot to do this next few weeks which i'm hoping wont be too stressful, it will definately make the last four weeks of school go faster. State is like one of the last schools to get out, kind of a bummer. I started cleaning my room hardcore yesterday hoping it will motivate Leah to clean...it's driving me nuts. Love her to death but hate living in her mess.

Class and a Lab project to do later today. Time to get crackin.

PS ~ Today would have been Lyss's 19th Birthday :-( Thinking about her a lot. It doesn't feel like 4 months ago at all.

 Spent the night on Steve's futon yesterday, it's surprisingly comfortable considering how broken it is lol.

Woke up and went to JRN, then I actually ate breakfast in Shaw's caf again gasp...w/ Janice double gasp. lol She's really not so bad, I shouldn't let people convince me who I should be friends with before I've gotten to know people myself. That's something I've realized I need to work on. After breakfast I took a nap then studied for a test, took a shower, took a test, ate dinner at TTO then went to Focal Point. It was sweet to see the footage I shot as part of the packages, very cool.

I'm going home tomorrow in the early een for Easter weekend. Focal Point and my recitation got canceled for Friday yay! I'm trying to find a way to spend parts of Easter w/ both my family and Steve's I'm hoping that works out.

Not two days from now but the Friday after so the 17th, is the all day Focal Point shoot and CHris Hanson from To Catch a Predator is coming in to do an interview and Q&A for us since he's an MSU graduate so I'm super excited about that!

I don't have any lab homework to do tonight so that making me really happy.

I'm having a problem choosing what to do with my major and I really need to figure it out soon, I schedule in two weeks. I'm staying a JRN major for sure and I'm having a hard time deciding whether to put the rest of my time in as a polysci-prelaw or a telecomm. I love the telecomm stuff but I'm learning most of that already and still have three more years to gain experience so I'll prolly do polysci-prelaw. I dunno! it's boggling my mind a little bit because on top of that I still need to find time and money for a JRN specialization in PR. I have quite the next couple years lined up lol.

Speaking of classes, I've already registered for econ (macro) for Monday and Wednesday nights at Scraft...I'm sad i'm gunna miss a lot of the boys softball but the other time the class was offered would require me to wake up at 730 four days a week, uh no thanks. I'm also about to register for an online history course to try and get a little more out of the way. I should do ISS too but I don't want a full course load for summer.

I'm hungry but I don't have any snacks that arnt stale and I already went to TTO for today....lol.

What a crazy week.

Last Tuesday night it was rainy and I skipped class, went out to dinner w and spent the night at Steve's so I didn't have to walk back to my dorm. And thank goodness I didnt. Apparently between like 1-4/5 in the morning a ton of kids got sick. They thought it was food poisoning aince i thit everyone at the same time and I was thinking about how lucky I was that I didn't eat a single meal in Shaw on Tuesday. So the fact that kids were throwing up didnt really phase me seeing as I thought it was food poisoning. So i came back in the early afternoon and took a shower and stuff then went on a shoot for Focal Point and ended up getting a call that more people were getting sick and our caf had been closed so it wasnt food posioning. Luckily only one of my friends came down with it and she was the only one on my floor but the bad thing was she was told at the hospital that it was norovirus which is like mega flu and apparently super contagious. So, I came back to my dorm grabbed some stuff and slept off campus at Kayla's. I left early around 10ish on Thursday and went home for a majority of the weekend to avoid it all and so far it's worked. I'm still healthy and the health center only got one phone call yesterday morning total and the symptoms didnt even match those of noro and my caf is reopen so as long as i keep disinfecting the door knob and washing my hands obsessively I should be alright.

So anyways, Wednesday I went on my first actual shoot with Focal Point and thank goodness I did because I got a huge opportunity from it. Wednesday I went with a grad student to assist in filming the basketball team leave for the Final Four in Detroit so we went ot Breslin and I got to go underground and check out all the stuff they have down there which was pretty sweet, then we filmed the team getting on the bus and leaving along with teh crowd and stuff. Then as soon as the bus left the tunnel at Breslin we booked it over to the I-96 exit so we could film it getting on the highway along with the people who came out to watch over there. And since I helped on that shoot I got asked to help shoot a private/open practice at Ford Feild on Friday, interview players, cover fans in Cheli's Chili and cover the pep rally they held in Troy.

So, I woke up at home Friday morning and went down to Detroit met up with the other two assisstants and the grad reporter. We lugged our equipment to Ford Feild and finally got directed around to the media entrance and they kepy insisting we werent on the list of organizations that could gain access to the floor. I was with the person who called to verify that we were eligible for credentials. Apparently the NCAA was saying we were suppossed ot talk to this one guy, who in turn was saying we needed to talk to the NCAA. Funny story about how we already talked to both of them adn were told we were all set. So that sucked. But we didnt let it ruin everything and we got to film from up above, not quite as cool as being on the floor but still pretty sweet. After practice ended with this slam dunk challenge thing we went over to Cheli's and filmed the fans in there then ate lunch at the Coney Island in Comerica. After we ate we headed over to Somerset Mall in Troy to film the pep rally. Almost 7,000 fans showed up it was pretty intense. The reporter we were with sent us assisstans off on our own to get some footage than we learned that we had permission to sit in Channel 7's news media area which was like roped off and reserved so that was cool we had a great view for filming the actual pep rally. But before it started the players were just walking about the mall we Andrea and I found Ibok in a show store and got to interview him which was sweet, he was SO friendly. Then the pep rally started and we got to talking to some of the people from channel 7 and they were talking to us about degrees and internships and stuff and apparently it will very helpful to double major. So I'm making an appt with the poly-sci-prelaw advisor for hopefully Wednesday. Then maybe one day I'll be able to cover like politics in teh news which i would like a lot. I looked into criminal justice so I could maybe do problem solver stuff one day but the classes are so not me and with polysci/prelaw if I go onto law school one day that will very helpful. Only problem is I don't know if I can afford to double major. I'm gunna do what I can to work it out. Saturday night I just hung out at Steve's and watched some CSI. It was a relaxing night.

On Saturday, Jenn and Nick picked up Steve and I and we came out to State for the game against UCONN. We pregamed a little then watched it at the Breslin center w/ adam, Kelly, Chelsea and Court. It was sooooo much fun. we were not suppossed to win that game. Knocking out two number 1 seeds back to back is pretty sweet. After the amaingly fun game we walked Grand River and everyone was going crazy high fiving, and chest bumping and yelling at screaming it was SO much fun. We ended up over at Cedar Village for Cedar Fest afterwards and it wasn't out of hand at all this year it was a huge mob of college students just yelling and screaming for MSU. It was a good time. I like that I can say my team went to the national championship and I got to go to Cedar Fest my freshman year. God, I love it here at MSU. Being a Spartan literally feels so cool. Go State.

The game yesterday however, was a disappointment. It would ahve been amazing to win, especially in Detroit. I had UNC winning in my bracket from the beginning...and they did. Of course it sucks to lose but what disappoints me even more is the fact that we played a horrible game. We play basketball better than that and everyone knows it. Even had we still lost and at least played a respectable game it wouldn't be so hard to take. It's a sad day in East Lansing today. BUT, after teh game we went to Cedar Village again and it was very cool to see such great support for the team everyone was still chearing adn chanting. I mean in reality second best in teh country isn't to shabby. I mean look what we did this year. That says a lot and a lot of the guys on the team are still young so hopefully we keep having great seasons the rest of the time I'm here. That would be amazing. I definately appreciate Tom Izzo. I have learned so much mroe about basketball the past few montsh than I ever thought I could care about and now I can whole heartedly say I love it.

I'm starving and waiting for Steve to get here for dinner.

It was my typical Monday which means it will probably be a pretty typical week. But in the words of Eric Mitchell, "You know it's going to be a good weekend when you get  "How to Riot Responsibly" Packets in your mailbox".  I'm kind of anxious to see what gets pulled off this weekend with the game and all which technically means Cedar Fest but who knows what will happen because of last year.

Just got a text that Steve fell asleep and wont be here for another 20 minutes. I'm still starving.


Anyways, I dont really have much else to say lol. Maybe I'll do some lab homework.

Let's see....the last week of school was pretty good. No tests, exams, or papers so that always makes for a good week.

On Wednesday night a bunch of us girls and Steve went to the Whiskey Barrel. It's a bar just off campus and Wednesdays are 18 and up. It's western themed and Chels, Kourtney and I tried to do some line dancing. I wasn't terrible lol. And we all rode Dick, the mechanical bull. I was most definately the worst one, it's so much harder than you think it's gunna be lol. Then club music cam on around 11 or so and we danced til about 1:30 in the morning then headed back. It was a great night and I DEFINATELY want to go back.

On Thursday, Kenny and Lauren came up and the two of them plus Steve and I got dinner at Mongolian BBQ and our waiter just happened to be at The Whiskey Barrel the night before and Steve and recognized him lol. After dinner we went to The Lion King and it was just as amazing if not more so than when I saw it 6 years ago. I would see it again in a heartbeat. It is so good and the costumes are so creative and the music is so powerful. I loved it and I bought the soundtrack. Steve admitted it was much better than he was expecting it to be and even wants to go see it again  :-) It's definately got to be one of the most innovative and amazing shows that's been on Broadway.  SO good.

Friday night, was the basketball game at 9:37 so after hanging out with Leah, Court and Kelly I headed over to Steve's and watched it with him and drank some beer. It was a good night MSU won and went to the elite 8. Then today they won again and became midwest champs andare headin to Detroit for the final four Yeah Baby! I can't wait to watch. Majorly wish I had tickets.

Yesterday.....what a day. I woke up at Steve's and was ready to have a nice relaxing day. Then there was this mass confusion about a job interview I got. I sent in my resume to the Red Cedar Log, MSU's yearbook and on Thursday I got a phone call asking me to come in for an interview at 3:30 on SUNDAY. My computer had been broken and that's why they called me because I hadn't answered my e-mail. I was able to check my e-mail Saturday morning on Steve's computer and it said my interview was at 3:30 on SATURDAY and to come two hours prior for a skills test, it was 2:15 already. I paniced. Called the office and explained what happened and they said not to worry about it and get there as soon as possible. I then booked it across campus barefoot because I didn't have good speed shoes with me, dunked my head only in the shower, threw my hair up, applied some make-up, threw on some professional dress and booked it barefoot over to the ASMSU building while Steve helped me out by printing my portfolio. I then went up to the interview and I was sat down at a computer to begin a 2 hour design test. Computer design... I have never done that before and I was SO confused. I was being interviewd to be a staff writer not to be on design staff. So after fiddling around with the program for like 15 minutes I explained that I was very confused and that I had never done anything like that before and I was told that I had been sent the wrong e-mail and the writing interviews really were on Sunday and only the design interviews were Saturday. I was then told that they were sorry for the confusion. I almost had a heart attack trying to get there on time, or well at least a panic attack and some tears over the whole situation. I was so upset when I thought I missed it. It's a paid job writing for the award winning yearbook which would look great on my resume for internships and such, not to mention it would be a great experience to become a better interviewer and writer in general.

So, Saturday after my not actual interview I came back to Shaw took a legitimate shower and decided not to go out so I would feel good for my real interview today. Then Steve and I went to Wells to see Marley & Me then hung out back in my dorm ordered Bell's and watched Twilight. Then we fell asleep.

Today I woke up ate breakfast, took my time getting ready, re-edited some old english papers and got interview ready for real. Went to the interview took a 20 minute grammar test and had my half hour question & answer . It was in front of a panel of people and was actually kind of intimidating. The whole thing just consisted of pretty easy to answer questions as long as I was natural, I was nervous at first but after a little bit of time I got a lot more relaxed. The only question that was difficult was what would I bring to the RCL that they have never experienced before. I don't remember what I said. I mean I'm your typical white freshman female with barely any experience, I'd say I'm ur average person lol. But anyways overall I think it went well except old English papers barely constitute a portfolio. I havn't taken JRN 200 yet since I am a semester behind which means I havn't written the 4 basic portfolio starting pieces. Also their meetings might be on Monday nights next year and marching band meets monday nights. If I make marching band there's no doubt I would pick that but I'll just have to wait and see what happens with everything then see what I can work out.

I'm waiting for my laundry to dry right now, I just watched the Amazing Race and now I'm watching Celebrity Apprentice.

Should be another not too bad week of school.

PS ~ Cool two days until April snow we had today huh?

I left MSU on Friday after my IAH recitation and went to the doctors then had a good homecooked meal and a banana split flurry from the Han-D-Dip. Afterwards, I went to Steve's to watch the basketball game but we ended up going back to my house and watching it with my parents. We stopped at 7-11 and ran into Max, Nick and Dolan. MSU won the game, good.

Got up on Saturday and my dad made pancakes then Emily picked me up to go to Vicksburg for a europe reunion, we found out Becca wasn't coming anymore and I was soo disappointed but then she surprised us and showed up at the restaurant with Lizzie. Sarah, Mark, Emily and I ate dinner then Mark and Sarah had to leave to go get ready for their play and Me, Emily, Becca and Lizzie drove around Vicksburg, the smallest city ever lol. Went to the play. It was Guys & Dolls and Mark was a gangster it was realllly good. Afterwards us girls stayed the night at a Best Western and had a good time. I LOVED getting to see everyone. It was SO much fun. I wish we all lived closer or were less busy so we could get together more often, I do love that we have managed to stay in touch like we have :-)

Got back to State a few hours ago, vaccuumed the room and went to work out. I still need to shower but i think I'll just do it after my Journalism meeting and before the Race. I'm gunna miss the Bball game because of this stupid meeting :-(

GO STATE!

 

 

It's the morning after St. Patrick's Day and I am probably one of the only people on my floor actually awake at a functioning level. lol
I decided not to go out because I needed help with my lab project and Steve knew how to do it so I did that and finished around 1130 and came back to Leah, Kelly, Chels, and Court drinking in my room. Kinda annoyed cuz I was gunna study but I let it go and ended up having a great time laughing with all of them, didn't get to bed until about 2:30 but I still got up and went to class this morning and I'm not even sure if I'm going to take a nap because I would be already and I need to study, badly. I'm really not that sleepy anyways since Spring Break I have had so much more energy I really think it's a change in the weather.

Natural Hazards & Disasters test tomorrow.

Mass Media test Friday.

Focal Point tonight.

I think I'm going to come home with Steve on Friday night so that Emily doesn't have to drive out of her way twice. We might go to Canada and watch the basketball game or something. Chances are we'll watch at home since that would be way cheaper.

Chels is snoring hardcore right now lol.

Vicksburg in 3 days!!!!!!

Today is St. Patty's Day and I'm at State. Could it be any more green today? lol

I'm trying to decide if I should go out tonight. I want to but, I have two tests this week, a class tonight that doesn't end til 9:30 and a 9:10 tomorrow morning. Hmmm....I think I might decide to be responsible. But it IS St. Patrick's Day, I dunno!

I had my advising appt to set up my schedule for next year, I declared my PR specialization and I need to set up a meeting with an advisor in the French department to get my minor all settled. I planned my schedule too I just hope I make marching band now and it'll be perfect.

It is SO gorgeous outside today, I'm lovin it. I'm also feelin a little better so that's a good sign.

Come complications for my Kalamazoo trip came up. It's looking like I need to be back by 1 on Sunday. Major Bummer. My group for JRN project set the meeting for then, or well I should say this one girl dictated when the meeting would be and I'm pissed. She scheduled the last one for when I was home too so I need to be at this one so I'm going to have to come home early, at least I'll still see everyone :-)

Steve and I entered a Basketball bracket last night. We have North Carolina going all the way and the first State game is Friday at 9:50. Go Spartans!

I need to go study now.

So, Spring Break is over and I'm sitting in my room waiting for Leah to get back. She usually gets back between 10 and 11.

I'm sure how I feel about break being over. I know I'm not ready for classes to start up again, thats for sure lol. It's such a weird feeling when you first get back after being home, like at first you just wanna go right back home but after a few days things feel completely normal again. It's weird. The first night back is always kinda lonely especially cuz I'm waiting for Leah to get back. I also havn't been feeling good on and off the past month or so and it was kinda bad the past week. My mom finally agreed to take me to a doctor and make sure everything's alright so I need to call and make an appt tomorrow and I'll probably come home for a few hours one day this week for that. Kinda frustrating but I'm glad to finallybe going to get things checked out, I'm also a little scared chances are nothing too bad will be the problem, at least I hope so.

Did I mention, as well as Leah and I get along she sure is messy. Everyone knows how messy I am, shes probably equal to me in reailty. But being here I try to keep my stuff somewhat organized since not only do I share the room but I'm in here all the time and people come in and out of a lot. Yeah I have me days where it gets messy but once it hits that point I do my best to clean it up. Being messy is a habit I'm trying to break. It never bothered me before but maybe its cuz the room is tiny and a do a whole lot more than just sleep here. I think just living in another persons clutter is kind of frsutrating sometimes. Mostly cuz the room is a lot cozier when its clean and we dont really have a cozy room to begin with lol.

I'm watching The Country Music Awards while waiting for Celebrity Apprentice to come on. There's some songs I've heard I want to download. I can't wait for the Death Cab Concert. Or the Lion King I'm so excited for both of them.

Vicksburg this weekend for a Europe reunion. We're going to see Mark in Guys & Dolls then get some food and stay the night at a hotel. It should be a goodtime.

I finished my part of the Journalism project this morning, I shoulda done it way sooner because it only took me like a half hour, if that. Feels good to have it done though :-)

Tomorrow is Monday, and I kind of like Mondays here. Journalism and BioScience. Neither is terrible. I plan on exercising too and then Monday is mine and Steve's night and I always have a good time :-)

I left Cooper here on accident over Spring Break and I'm very glad to have him back now :-)

8 more weeks til summer vacation which means laying by the pool, lazy nights with friends and sun sun sun :-)

PS~I saw a robin yesterday, Spring is almost here.